i'll be there for you

"I'll Be There For You"
Bon Jovi

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love it's suicide

You say you're cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore

Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday

And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

[Solo]

And I wasn't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

always

"Always"

This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

Yeah, I will love you baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

this day

hari ini...selasa tanggal 25 november 2008..
tempat: meja gw, kantor bagian promosi PC+ di palmerah/.. :D

kayak model surat tahun jebot..

hari ini bangun tidur dalam keadaan ga tentu..
beberapa hal sudah diputuskan tapi tetap ganggu pikiran..
beberapa hal sudah dimengerti tapi tetap kembali buat dipikirkan..
n hal soal Dia ga bisa berhenti diharapkan..
andai hal itu ada dari awal sayang,..

pagi ini nyampe kantor tepat waktu.
langsung duduk di meja gw yang da 3 hari ga gw tengokin..
buka email n ga ada unread email..
nyalain YM yang kayaknya rusak, langsung di close aja..
buka ebuddy jadinya..
trus ngurus surat2 lamaran yang bakalan dikirim via kurir..
lamaran?? iya lamaran kerja ke perusahaan lain, karena sudah diputuskan kontrak gw ga akan gw perpanjang.. (dengan memikirkan keluarga dan orang yang sangat gw sayangi)..
ngantar lamaran sembari ngambil honor jaga stand kemarin..

tetep kembali ke meja gw, karena hari ini ga mau keluar n ketemu orang2 di luar..
pengen menyepi..
diam tanpa diganggu..
enggak seorangpun yang akan ngerti soal ini..
enggak juga Dia..

perasaan yang dah jelas kenapa..gw terlalu berharap..
terlalu menantikan hal yang ga pasti..
hal yang hampir mustahil..
yang pernah gw nikmati dulu..
yang lenyap karena ulah gw sendiri..
hilang atas kesalahn diri sendiri..

salahkah aku karena mengharapkan sesuatu yang aku nikmati?

???

kenapa begini lagi???
ada apa lagi?????
kenapa harus seperti ini???

the substitute's

mark bosnich gagal jadi kiper bagus di Manchester United karena bayang2 Peter Schmeichel..
Darren Fletcher gagal jadi sayap kanan bagus karena dibayang2i image umpan maut David Beckham..
PArk Ji Sung hanya terkenal akan stamina n penetrasinya, sayap kiri yang dirindukan tetap si Tua Ryan Giggs..
laurent Blanc bikin Manchester United jatuh terpuruk, dia ga bisa maksimal karena ditimbang2 bersma dengan Jaap Stam..
Manchester United masih mencari pengganti Denis Irwin yang di masa emasnya menjadi bek andalan..
dulu David Beckham diragukan karena kehebatan Karel Poborsky di sayap kanan...
n sampe sekarang masih mencari sosok seperti di Legenda Roy Keane..
PC+ masih terbayang akan kehebatan Jimmy, Irvan setengah mati ngejar itu, masa lalu membunuhku..

semuanya hanya butuh pengakuan.

kontradiksi

hitam yang putih..
kanan yang kiri..
terang yang gelap..

kontradiksi yang tipis..

saat yang terang ga bisa kembali terang...
gelapkah saat ini?
hanya kelabu.

bisakah aku membuat semuanya jadi terang lagi?
sudah tidak bisa.

untuk sanny

terpisah jarak puluhan kilometer
terganggu jam kerja n sangat berbeda kebiasaan,..
kondisi yang juga berbeda di setiap harinya...
komunikasi sangat tertolong oleh media yang namanya handphone, YM, n email..
cuma disitu aku n sanny bisa ngobrol tiap hari..


sanny, nona cantik yang selalu rapi dan modis..
sanny, cewek modern yang akan selalu narsis, camera aware, n aktif..
sanny, selalu menarik dengan caranya sendiri..
berbeda dengan saya yang ga formal, cenderung berantakan, n masa bodoh dengan itu semua..
sanny menggangap bahwa alam ini 4 dimensi, bukan seperti aku yang 3 dimensi..

dia selalu memandang sebuah hal dengan caranya sendiri..
dia ga suka kata2, dia suka perbuatan..

dia cerdas, cukup cerdas sampe bikin aku nyerah ..
waktu satu malam ga cukup buat membahas satu hal..
ga perlu masalah besar untuk bikin aku berdebat ma dia..
waktu dia bilang, ga cocok buat pacaran mungkin benar..
kita selalu meributkan suatu hal..
semua hal bisa menjadi bahan debat..


dia begitu misterius..
lalu jenis komunikasi apa yang bahkan kita ga bisa bertatap muka?
sangat tidak sehat kalo selalu berdebat, ngobrol n saling mengenal via telpon ato email..

tapi apakah namanya ini?
dengan semua kekurangan, saya sangat nyaman di sampingnya.
masih sangat nyaman berbagi semua hal dengannya.
masih sangat nyaman duduk di sampingnya walopun hanya untuk diam.
masih sangat nyaman ke cikarang, dengan semua cara..
karena aku hanya ingin dia, dengan segala embel2 kekurangan antara aku dan dia..

no matter what,aku sayang kamu.

untuk sanny

-irvan-

Kangen..

Aku kangen kamu..
aku kangen diriku sendiri..
aku kangen saat2 itu,,
aku kangen loyalitasku akan sesuatu..
aku kangen bagaimana caramu memperlakukanku..
aku kangen akan perasaan ingin berharap lagi...
aku kangen akan perasaan bebas..
aku kangen akan perasaan ringan, tanpa tau mau kemana kaki ini berjalan..
aku kangen akan kepercayaan diriku..

"She's A Mystery"

Satu lagu asik dari Bon Jovi, kok kayaknya cucok banget ya..
ma siapa?? sama........Dia tau kok..:D

"She's A Mystery"

She won't let me buy her jewelry
She don't want things that she can keep
She wears wildflowers in her hair
Then throws them in the sea
She's the beginning and the end of me

She's a mystery
My most beautiful regret
I will never understand her
She's a mystery
The only promise I can keep
Even in my dreams she ruins me

I still don't know what to call her
She says that words don't mean a thing
She changes her name every day
And lies all the time
I feel lucky to call her mine

The only promise I can keep
Even in my dreams she ruins me

She's anything in the world
That you cannot explain
But when she throws me a smile
It's fire in the rain

She's a mystery
There's no defense
It's innocence
But she won't let you see
'Cause she's a mystery

capek..

lagi capek krn baru pulang dari cikarang naik motor pas hujan..
saat masih capek krn acara kemaren...
sebelumnya capek juga krn terus2an diganggu hal yang ga jelas..
capek aku ngeliat hal itu,..
tapi aku ga bisa berbuat banyak atas alasan hak dan keindividuan manusia..
"sebuah alasan untuk sebuah topik yang sama sekali ga logis buat dibicarakan"

capek aku kebayang saat aku ngeliat hal itu..
capek aku nahan diri supya ga besar mulut lagi mengenai hal itu..
capek aku berpikir mematahkan alasan2 yang aku terima..

aku terlalu dingin mengenai hal itu..
sifatku membuat perasaan ini tambah menjadi..
akan tiba saat kamu tau mengenai ini n aku ga siap buat menjelaskan.
ga siap buat denger komentar dari kamu..
karena aku sudah tau respon apa yang akan aku terima..

Silent Night (lagi)

Silent Night dari Bon Jovi..
Sangat Menggambarkan "cuaca" saat ini..

After the smoke clears
When it's down to you and I
When the sun appears
And there's nothing left but goodbyes
We'll just turn and walk away
How could we let it end like this
Just turn and walk away
Should we seal it with a kiss
It's too late
Now you're out and on the run
It's too late
Held up in love without a gun
Silent night
We hold up our candle light
Silent night
The night our love died
No words to say
And we're both too tired to fight
Just hold me close and don't let go...
It was all so simple when
You were to be queen and I'd be your king.
I guess those dreams got lost
Cause baby you're still you and I'm still me.
Now letting go
It's always the hardest part to fight
When we both know
We're just two more victims of the night
It's too late
Too late to wonder why
Much too late
To save a love that's died.
Silent night
We hold up our candle light
Silent night
The night our love died
No words to say
Now we're both too tired to fight
Just hold me close and don't let go
Just hold me close and don't let me go
After the smoke cleared
It was down to you and I
When the sun appeared
There was nothing left but goodbyes...
Silent night

Berdoa supaya semuanya baik2 aja..

silent night

silent night..
malam sepi..,malam sepi...malam sunyi..malam diam...
gak tau juga yang mana tu yang arti dari silent night...
gw juga dapet dari judul lagu Bon Jovi...

"....Silent night
We hold up our candle light
Silent night
The night our love died
No words to say
And we're both too tired to fight
Just hold me close and don't let go...
It was all so simple when
You were to be queen and I'd be your king.
I guess those dreams got lost...."

tapi yang terjadi sungguh silent night..

to somebody out there..
aku berdiri diatas kakiku tanpa aku tau aku mesti kemana..
kompas di dalam diri yang pasti akan bikin nyasar..
peta di otak tanpa menunjukan ke arah mana utaranya.
tangan ini butuh gandengan yang pasti..

saat aku tau jejak jalanku mengotori jalan-jalan di pikiranmu, aku membersihkan jalan-jalan itu dengan kain pel berdebu..
n bahkan nanya ke kamu apakah da cukup bersih?
apakah sudah cukup membuat mengkilap di hati kamu?

aku masih berdiri disini..
di musim panas..
menunggu kapan hujan akan datang membersihkan jalan-jalan itu..